Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of God… Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.
—Romans 12:19-21
What do you do when you’ve been mistreated, mocked, wounded, betrayed, or broken by someone else? What’s the right response? How do we forgive people who have hurt us, sometimes deeply? Paul gives us the answer, and it cuts against every natural instinct we have: “never avenge yourselves… overcome evil with good.”
Let’s be honest, this goes against everything in us. When someone strikes us, the fist comes up to strike back. It’s human nature. We live in a world boiling over with rage. When that anger hits us, our instinct is to go all Old Testament, an eye for an eye. But Jesus said, “you’ve heard it said that way, but I say, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you.”
Notice the word Paul uses for the alternative to vengeance: he tells us to bless rather than curse. And cursing doesn’t necessarily mean profanity. It means calling down judgment on someone, wishing them harm, consigning them to ruin in your heart. People say “go to hell” casually, but how many more think it, at a red light, scrolling social media, watching the news? When we’re triggered, our reflex is to blast people rather than bless them.
But here’s why this matters for you, not just for them. An unforgiving, cursing heart is a self-destructing heart. Bitterness always leads to brokenness. As a pastor, I’ve watched it destroy lives and families again and again, so much pain that could have been healed if people had simply obeyed the command to forgive as they’ve been forgiven.
Let me speak personally. When my father was brutally murdered in 1970, I had to face this very passage in my own life. Would I forgive or refuse? Would I let God be God and fight the battle, or try to seize control myself? Would I live in the freedom God offers, or spend the rest of my days miserable because I couldn’t get over it? I thank God every day that the Holy Spirit led me to forgiveness.
And that’s the heart of what Paul says: “leave it to the wrath of God.” It is not your job to be judge, jury, and executioner. “Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord.” When you release an offense, you’re not saying it didn’t matter, you’re entrusting it to a God who is perfectly just and will settle every account. Don’t live in payback mode. Live in give-back mode, and that’s only possible because God’s love has been poured into our hearts by the Holy Spirit.
So, if someone has wounded you, and most of us are carrying something, it’s time to turn it loose and let it go. Name the offense. Hand it to God. Choose to forgive, in the name of Jesus. Don’t let the evil done to you win by turning you bitter. Overcome it, overcome evil with good.
DON’T LIVE IN PAYBACK MODE, LEAVE IT TO GOD, RELEASE THE OFFENSE, AND OVERCOME EVIL WITH GOOD.
