For I do not do the good I want, but the evil I do not want is what I keep on doing.
—Romans 7:18-19
Listen to who’s talking. This is Paul, in my view the greatest Christian who ever lived, the man who wrote thirteen New Testament books by the inspiration of the Holy Spirit. And even as he writes, he admits, “I do not do the good I want, but the evil I do not want is what I keep on doing.” If Paul wrestled like this, every one of us can stop pretending we don’t.
What is this struggle? It’s the civil war that breaks out inside a person the moment they come to Christ. When you’re born again, you’re given a brand-new nature, new desires, a new direction, a new determination to obey God. But the old nature, the flesh, what you were before Christ, doesn’t simply vanish. And so, a battle rages between the old you and the new you, and it will go on as long as we live on this earth.
Here’s something that may surprise you: the most miserable person on earth is often not the unbeliever, but the believer who’s out of fellowship with God, grieved by his own sin. Before Christ, sin didn’t bother you much, you didn’t care. But now that you know Him, you want to please Him, and the failures hurt. That very ache is a sign of life.
Some people read Paul’s confession and conclude he must have been a hypocrite, saying one thing and doing another. But that’s not hypocrisy, and neither is your struggle. You’re a hypocrite when you hide your sin and pretend you have it all together, or when you quit resisting altogether. You are not a hypocrite when you fight. Have you discovered that the Christian life is not merely hard, it’s impossible in our own strength?
And that’s the point. When you say, “What is wrong with me? I want to obey God, but I keep struggling,” you’re feeling the truth that you were never meant to win this fight alone. The flesh can’t be improved or reformed into obedience. Victory comes from another source entirely, the presence and power of Jesus in you.
So, don’t be discouraged by the battle. The fact that you fight is evidence the Spirit is alive in you. The believer has only two options when sin comes calling: relent or resist. Paul refused to relent, and so should you.
You will not be perfect this side of heaven. But God is far more interested in the direction of your life than its perfection. Stay in the fight, lean on Him, and you’ll find yourself winning more and more over the power of sin.
THE CHRISTIAN LIFE IS NOT HARD. IT IS IMPOSSIBLE WITHOUT CHRIST. DON’T QUIT THE FIGHT; LEAN ON HIM.
